I wish to congratulate Good Fathers on this day, Fathers’ Day 2009, and to offer the following reflections on poor fatherhood.
I am a father because I have a child. My child came into the world because, once upon a time, my sperm captured a female egg and life was formed.
Thus, my true worth as a father must begin to count from this moment of conception.
My worth as a father is reflected in why I allowed this union of sperm and egg to take place, and what I did after shooting my “successful” sperm.
There are many ways we can judge our failings as fathers:
We fail in our responsibility as fathers when we decide to remove – or blackmail a poor girl into removing – a developing child that this shooting occasioned.
We fail in this responsibility when we shoot our load only because we want to ensure our family’s survival, and not because we are interested in making the world a better place through the quality of human beings we nurture and introduce into it.
We fail in this responsibility when we do “hit and run,” leaving a poor hapless girl alone and afraid in the world, and sometimes abandoning the product of this union at roadsides or the garbage dumps.
We fail in this responsibility when the product of this union of sperms and egg are brought up badly and they end up as armed robbers, prostitutes, or child labourers.
We fail in this responsibility when our girl-children are, by design or default, made to play second fiddle and denied of equal treatment in care, affection, or education.
We fail in this responsibility when we do not take up the command to raise our children in the way of the Lord. It is important to note that, although man and woman share equal responsibility for the care and nurture of a child, it is fathers that have been given special responsibility to raise children in the way of the Lord. God commands fathers to instruct the child on the Commandments and to raise it up as a member of God’s chosen people (Deut. 6: 7). Is this not a role that the women have assumed in most Nigerian homes?
We fail in this responsibility when we take the money meant for the family’s upkeep and head for the nearest bar or motel to entertain women of easy virtue – be they call girls, girlfriends or concubines.
Do not despair if, as a father, you fail to measure up to the scale because there is Good News for us all. Despite our many human failings, God still loves us. He has given us many anniversaries of Fathers’ Day, like today, in the hope that, one day, we would pause a little from the frenzy of celebration to deeply reflect on what it actually means to be a Good Father.
Happy Fathers’ Day
Reflections on Fathers’ Day
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